If my sisters illegal immigrant husband left her for stupid reasons should I still offer my opinion?
Answer:
Sadly, she will have to figure this out on her own. You can't give guidance in this area...it's the heart not the mind at work. Just be moral support...otherwise you'll just create a rift between you and you won't be there when reality hits and she needs you.
Call INS
Kick him in the cajones!
leave em to it hun. its all you can do, you'll just be banging you head on a brick wall. just be there for her when she hits the realisation of what he's really like. take her out and have fun. make her see there are other men out there who will treat her with respect.
Advise her to back up, move on, and accept what happened. She shouldn't push him away - At least the man is "legal" now.. Tell her to take him to court and demand child support.
Well, no matter what you tell your sister, she will only leave him alone when she realizes that it's time to let go.
It's sad that this happened but after all she did know he only married her to get his green card. That's a very stupid thing to do if you ask me, playing with the law .. but what's worse is having a child just because you want a green card? I feel sorry for her child, now he'll have to grow up with no father around him/her. She knew from the very beginning what she was doing and she's old enough to understand that what you do in life will eventually carry consequences whether they're good or bad.
I think you should let her figure it out on her own, no matter what you do, she will not listen to anyone until she understands that she was playing a game that she might have liked but ended up losing.
I think though that she must have hoped that this person would end up falling in love with her.
There is nothing that you can do when a person is in love. And if it is not love, she might feel that he owes her since she helped him to stay in the county. She might even feel like she owns him. That is why it is best to never marry unless it is truly for love. Otherwise it won't work and all it does is cause all people involved to suffer, like u, your sister, the husband and most of all the child. She obviously has seen his true colors the day that he walked out the door, after he got his green card. So you can talk until you are blue in the facee but it probably won't make any difference. She is young and probably will just have to come to the realization on her own, that she can do better by herself. Just continue to be there to support her when she needs you. I am sure she may feel a little foolish, though she will never admit it, but when reality sets in she'll need you more than ever. All the best to you all.
except now he is legal and she is the criminal.
sucks to be her.
Sorry to hear that. Your question is a bit confusing on one hand you say he was an illegal immigrant and on the other you say he has a green card which makes him legal.
I don't know how long they have been married but the first card they issue you is a temporary card and that lasts 18 months during which time you have to apply for a Permanent Resident Card that will then last ten years. You have to complete forms and sign to say that you are still living as a married couple Etc before they will give you that card.
If you want to make life difficult for him then get in touch with immigration and check his status because your sister must have signed and completed papers saying that she would be financially responsible for him Etc and that has now changed.
This system is in place to prevent things of this nature happening and that is one of the reasons it takes so long. In your sisters case however the fact they have a son together may change this but it may be worth you checking.
If he has a green card, then it is actually better for your sister financially as she can apply for child support. I would definately get her to have a legal amount awarded, this is for their baby and he should be made to contribute no matter where he moves to in the future. I would make sure this happend no matter if he pays money every week, get it down on paper via the courts.
Re the emotional trauma, sometimes you just have to wait on the sidelines and wait for time to pass. It will do nothing save make your sister more miserable if you keep telling her to leave him alone. The best you can do is encourage her to go to school and broaden her interests. As she fills her life with other things she will see him for what he is.
Tell her to stop getting married. She is being dumb
if she knows that that's the reason they got married i don't see why shes complaining.its both of their fault for getting PG.
make his *** pay for child support.
then she needs to move on.
and you do too!
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